Quotes

A disordered collection of quotes.

“It’s already wiped out the Dodo, the Cuckoo, and the Ne-Ne, and it has nasty plans for the Booby, the Titmouse, the Woodcock, and the Titpecker.” – Principal Skinner

“Fame was like a drug, but what was even more like a drug was the drugs.” – Homer Simpson

“To alcohol – the cause of and solution to all of life’s problems.” – Homer Simpson

“I was the best man at a wedding once. Best man, a pretty good title I thought. If I’m the best man, why is she marrying him?” – Jerry Seinfeld

“She’s got the jimmy legs!” – Kramer

“They don’t have a decent piece of fruit at the supermarket. The apples are mealy, the oranges are dry… I don’t know what’s going on with the papayas!” – Kramer

“Dogs are the leaders of the planet. If you see two life forms, one of them’s making a poop, the other one’s carrying it for him, who would you assume is in charge?” – Jerry Seinfeld

“Why do people give each other flowers? To celebrate various important occasions, they’re killing living creatures? Why restrict it to plants? “Sweetheart, let’s make up. Have this deceased squirrel.” – Jerry Seinfeld

GEORGE: “Ah, you have no idea of the magnitude of this thing. If she [Susan] is allowed to infiltrate this world, then George Costanza as you know him, ceases to exist! You see, right now, I have Relationship George, but there is also Independent George. That’s the George you know, the George you grew up with — Movie George, Coffee shop George, Liar George, Bawdy George!

JERRY: I love that George.

GEORGE: Me Too! And he’s dying Jerry! If Relationship George walks through this door, he will kill Independent George! A George, divided against itself, cannot stand!”

Excuse me, but “proactive” and “paradigm”? Aren’t these just buzzwords that dumb people use to sound important? – The Simpsons

3 responses to this post.

  1. Posted by Cale on 26/06/2010 at 9:00 pm

    “Hence we will not say that Greeks fight like heroes but that heroes fight like Greeks!” Quote, Sir Winston Churchill

    Reply

  2. Interesting. Why’d he say that?

    Reply

  3. Posted by Cale on 07/07/2010 at 3:23 pm

    I’m not too sure, I think it had something to do with the Greek resistance against the Germans. I’m not totally sure though.

    Reply

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